i don't want to get married! no!! I SAID NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Have you ever heard these lines before (or something similar):

"I don't want to get married yet, cause I want to enjoy life first"

"I want to get married. But, I don't have money!"

"I am not ready to commit myself"

"I don't think I can be a good wife/husband.. I'm too young!"

"You are too young to get married! Wait till you have enough money, then you can get married."


Because I was born in a beautiful country; Malaysia, with full of culture I became one of these people too.
The environment; society, family, friends and media made me feel that to get married, we need to have loads of money first. This is because, we have merisik, (proposal) bertunang, (engagement), berinai, nikah, (solemnization) and the bersanding/ majlis ("the ceremony") and of course, we have honeymoon too..

So, the thing that scare us to get married is the fact that we need to spend so much money on a wedding!

As a Muslim, we are required to do the nikah. During nikah, the groom is required to present his bride with dowry. And that is pretty much it! 







But, remember that it is sunnah to do the nikah in front of many people. And after the nikah it is sunnah to give dates (kurma) to everyone. It is also sunnah to celebrate the next day (to let people know that you are married)

Sunnah is an Arabic word which means a path or a way. However, Islaamically, it is a primary source of law taken from the sayings, actions and approvals of the Prophet Muhammad

Isn't it amazing how the wedding preparation needs at least A YEAR to organize! the nikah pretty much takes about 20-30 mins max! And what is up with our lafaz nikah? Do you know that there is no such thing as lafaz in a single breath or anything like that in Islam? Why do you make our lives so miserable? Do you know that all you need to say is "yes".

The only thing required is the groom and the bride to agree to marry each other and listen to the nikah khutbah (nikah speech), in front of at least two male Muslim witness (yes, TWO not four!) Islam is not that complicated. We are the ones who made it all so confusing! I don't know why we do that!

And the dowry or wedding present which is usually a certain amount of money (mas kahwin) is fard (mandatory) to be given as a gift to the bride, but not the hantaran. Why do people keep on asking: how much is your hantaran? Does it matter? Do we need to put our price? really? Are we selling ourselves?  Why do we do that?
For those of you who do not know what hantaran is, it is actually a certain amount of money given to the bride's parents from the groom. Apparently, the higher the value, the higher your standard. The standard graduate-young-beautiful-bride will get around 15 thousand ringgit for the hantaran. 

You see, we should get married at a young age to stop us from the desires to have sex, etc,etc. But, it seems like we are always "too young" and we dont have enough money to get married! after doing all the calculation, we need at least rm 25000 to have a decent wedding!



Getting married means completing half of our deen. It is about completing half of our religion! It is not about having enough money, or when we are "ready" or when we are done having fun with our lives. What is that suppose to mean? Getting married does not mean your life  is going to be over. If that is how you feel, maybe you are with the wrong partner! It is about starting a new life together, creating new life and being with each other.

I know I may be the least qualified person to be talking about all these.Honestly, whatever I just shared to you, is how I used to feel about marriage! And my views change completely when I started understanding Islam. =)