i don't want to get married! no!! I SAID NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Have you ever heard these lines before (or something similar):

"I don't want to get married yet, cause I want to enjoy life first"

"I want to get married. But, I don't have money!"

"I am not ready to commit myself"

"I don't think I can be a good wife/husband.. I'm too young!"

"You are too young to get married! Wait till you have enough money, then you can get married."


Because I was born in a beautiful country; Malaysia, with full of culture I became one of these people too.
The environment; society, family, friends and media made me feel that to get married, we need to have loads of money first. This is because, we have merisik, (proposal) bertunang, (engagement), berinai, nikah, (solemnization) and the bersanding/ majlis ("the ceremony") and of course, we have honeymoon too..

So, the thing that scare us to get married is the fact that we need to spend so much money on a wedding!

As a Muslim, we are required to do the nikah. During nikah, the groom is required to present his bride with dowry. And that is pretty much it! 







But, remember that it is sunnah to do the nikah in front of many people. And after the nikah it is sunnah to give dates (kurma) to everyone. It is also sunnah to celebrate the next day (to let people know that you are married)

Sunnah is an Arabic word which means a path or a way. However, Islaamically, it is a primary source of law taken from the sayings, actions and approvals of the Prophet Muhammad

Isn't it amazing how the wedding preparation needs at least A YEAR to organize! the nikah pretty much takes about 20-30 mins max! And what is up with our lafaz nikah? Do you know that there is no such thing as lafaz in a single breath or anything like that in Islam? Why do you make our lives so miserable? Do you know that all you need to say is "yes".

The only thing required is the groom and the bride to agree to marry each other and listen to the nikah khutbah (nikah speech), in front of at least two male Muslim witness (yes, TWO not four!) Islam is not that complicated. We are the ones who made it all so confusing! I don't know why we do that!

And the dowry or wedding present which is usually a certain amount of money (mas kahwin) is fard (mandatory) to be given as a gift to the bride, but not the hantaran. Why do people keep on asking: how much is your hantaran? Does it matter? Do we need to put our price? really? Are we selling ourselves?  Why do we do that?
For those of you who do not know what hantaran is, it is actually a certain amount of money given to the bride's parents from the groom. Apparently, the higher the value, the higher your standard. The standard graduate-young-beautiful-bride will get around 15 thousand ringgit for the hantaran. 

You see, we should get married at a young age to stop us from the desires to have sex, etc,etc. But, it seems like we are always "too young" and we dont have enough money to get married! after doing all the calculation, we need at least rm 25000 to have a decent wedding!



Getting married means completing half of our deen. It is about completing half of our religion! It is not about having enough money, or when we are "ready" or when we are done having fun with our lives. What is that suppose to mean? Getting married does not mean your life  is going to be over. If that is how you feel, maybe you are with the wrong partner! It is about starting a new life together, creating new life and being with each other.

I know I may be the least qualified person to be talking about all these.Honestly, whatever I just shared to you, is how I used to feel about marriage! And my views change completely when I started understanding Islam. =)

temptation to ......

I was sitting in the room and thinking about how much temptation we have to do/ have/want in life... u know what I'm talking about.. anyway...... I know... I am suppose to sleep and have a good rest because 2moro is my exam.. but, i kindda had a good sleep just before and woke up in the middle of the night....

Alhamdullilah.. (praise to Allah) The past few months I have had something good going in my mind... But, I think I should say it out LOUD so that maybe, it will come to me eventually.. And hopefully, I will be able to do it... soon... sooner, the better..


Honestly, I have been checking out this one guy on YouTube..Baba Ali.. he's an American Muslim, he converted his religion to Islam after doing research about the religion.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbDeEvMgQ1k

What I found is really really great is the fact that he is in America. Not in some Middle Eastern country or somewhere in Asia..On top of that, his family is secular. His family believes in science and technology. However, Baba Ali is a very curios guy. He kept on looking for the truth and start researching about a few religion. Before, he was a Wiccan, a religion that believes there is power in  rocks, sun, etc.. Later on, he realize this rock can't even save themselves, how can he believe in these rocks?

He went on research about lots of religion to find what is the truth...

He finally saw the truth in Islam after reading the Q'uran as it tells the complete way of life. The thing that he made him believe is the fact that how science and Q'uran is very much connected. After being a Muslim, he realize that Islam is more than a religion; it is actually the way of life: it changes everything in his life. The way he thinks, he acts, his clothing, his perceptions, his views, well.. basically.. EVERYTHING..

After being a Muslim, he decided to put up videos on Islam: his videos are very educational and helped me a LOT on viewing Islam in a beautiful way.. I find it really amazing the person that blew my mind off with the religion that I was born with is a dude form America who converted in Islam. Obiously, he knows a lot more than I do!

I love the way he views Islam.. and how it is actually beautiful! The problem is not the religion, the problem is the people. After living for the past 25 years, studying Islam in school, Sekolah Agama (Religion School), mengaji (reciting Q'uran) with all the ustaz and ustazahs ((religious teachers).. not even once they  told me how beautiful the religion is.. In fact, they made the religion looks scary and how strict it is...

Anyway... after looking up this religion closely for the past few months..I saw a lot of things actually clashes with our culture.. The problem with us is how we try to find the parallel in the culture and the religion. It doesn't work that way at all..

Islam is Islam. It has got nothing to do with our culture. If it is haram, it is haram..(forbidden)

And this derives me to my main issue of the topic... I just wanna say out loud my desire to start wearing a hijab.I find myself contradicting with my own self. I am a believer, but I am not doing the main thing that is to cover my aurat from non-muhrims..

Alhamdullilah, Allah opened my heart to take a few big steps in life. And I believe this is one of it too.
I have been keeping this desire to myself. But, I know if I don't speak up, I may not do it anytime soon.

Well, I guess that is all I want to say..

btw, try to check out this guy.. it might change your view too. insyaAllah.. 








 

"Great" gifts- this is for those who have time to tralalalalalala~

Have you ever received a gift that you don't like but you pretend to like it?

Picture this;

It is you birthday, and your aunty just got back from her Europe tour, she was telling you how beautiful it was, how she visited to all the most luxurious places, and all the great architecture. And she was bragging about the 10 new designer handbags that she bought for herself.. and.... she said she got you a gift for your birthday!    

You expected a nice new handbag.. or a wallet or a scarf from her.. instead,

she got you a pair of nice comfortable granny socks!

You look at her and say;OMG! this is wonderful, I've always wanted a granny socks! (haa!)

The bit of annoyance coz you expected so much more...and the worst part is to pretend to like it!
My point is, what is the best reaction for this?
Do we really have to pretend to like a gift? what if we don't? What if the next day she wants you to wear it when you go out with her? What if the gift is a hideous dress that you can't even think of wearing?


I guess sometimes I think too much. But, really. do you see my point? I mean, I know we should be polite and "pretend" to like the gift... but, what if we don't? mhmmm...

Malaysian men are not sexually satisfied?

So, I read the world news today and found what was written in the yahoo news.
I clicked the "popular news" section  and found the number 3 most popular news is very interesting.

Malaysia Obedient Wives Club

So, they are proposing to create the obedient wives club.

(??????) I read some of the comments. Some of it is true and there are some very discriminating comments. 

But, ANYWAY... what is up with all these people? Apparently, this 22-year old newly wed girl thinks she knows the secret to the blissful marriage.... And the only way to a happy marriage is to "Obey the husband and ensure he is sexually satisfied" !!!??? Is that it? really? 

  

I find this proposal very problematic

First of all,  she's a newly wed- what does she know about a happy marriage?? she just got married! 

Secondly, Really, I'm pretty sure it is more than just being "sexually satisfied" that leads to a happy marriage life.. whatever happen to communication? trust? being loyal? etc.etc.etc...

Thirdly- What about the wife??? I thought it takes two to tango. Don't men need to work on the relationship too??

"The best of you are those who are good with their wife"

Prophet Muhammad S.A.W

p/s- the title is to attract people like u to read my blog. You see, this is my first attempt to write. I knew people will read if I put some controversial tittle. LOL.Cheers!!